Sunday, December 23, 2007

The Army of Raubenstadt

Here follows a listing of the stout-hearted Raubenstadtians, "who ha' wi' Markgraaf bled..."
Read 'em and weep (or snigger)!

I. Infantry

A. Markgraaf's Eigen Gard - Colonel Martenet von Drillmeister

B. Waxenbuff Musketeer Regiment - Colonel Victor von Groundpounder

C. Spitzen Polish Musketeer Regiment- Colonel Rusty von Eisenkopf

D. Achingfuss Musketeer Regiment - Colonel Raw von Blister

E. Futile Fusiliers Regiment - Colonel Fatal von Hangfire

F. Truerpfalz Freicorps Regiment - Colonel "The Terrible" Heinz von Stein

G. Ulster Jagers Regiment - Colonel "Jumpin'" Jack Flash

II. Cavalry

A. Platterhoof Kurassiere Regiment- Colonel Frothing von Sawreins

B. Knackerbound Karabiniers Regiment- Colonel Skinner von Butcher

C. Hayburningnag Dragoons Regiment- Colonel Baylen von Straw

D. Roadapplegang Dragoons Regiment - Colonel Meadow von Muffin

E. Pilfering Freihussars Regiment - Colonel Rotten von Pilfering

III. Artillery

A. Schotenschall Foot Battery - Colonel Sluggo von Slugger

B. Belchenfire Foot Battery - Colonel Pumpin der Rounds

C. Klipenklop Horse Battery - Colonel Galloper von Trittrot

IV. Engineers

A. Grubenarbeiter Engineers - Colonel Picken der Shovel

B. Pontoons und Pioniers - Colonel Axen der Saw

V. Train

Seventeen wagons. One assigned to each regiment.

Organization is as in Charles Grant's "The Wargame". The figures are RSM 25mm.

Since the Markgraaf does not yet have access to digital technology (Note to self, must remember to try the the ol' brick with a note tied to it through a window ploy.) pictures will not be available until sometime in the nebulous future. I don't want to leave anybody hanging (A most enlightened attitude for an 18th Century Robber Baron.) , so here are some descriptions of some of the more long-service units in the service of Raubenstadt and some of their regimental histories:

The Waxen Musketeer Regiment - Due to their buff facings, they are more commonly known as the "Waxenbuffs". They have a Brownish-Red coat, with Buff cuffs, lapels, collar, and turnbacks. Black Tricorne with white trim. Buff waistcoat and breeches. Black gaiters, and very, very shiny brass buttons. This regiment is known for their ability to have shiny buttons, no matter how long they have been in the field. Best Regimental Action So Far: Ruthlessly repelled a series of invasions, locally known as the "Amish Incursions". They are still standing by to repel the rumored "Menace From The Mennonites"!

The Spitzen Polish Musketeer Regiment - Bright Scarlet coat. White cuffs, lapels, collar, and turnbacks. Black Tricorne with white trim. White waistcoat. Brown breeches. Black gaiters with silver buttons. Best Regimental Action So Far: Under the command of Col. Eisenkopf, they dug out, crushed, and ground down the emerging Salt Mine Worker's Union. This action earned the regiment their reputation for being "well seasoned" campaigners.

The Truerpfalz Freicorps - Black coat. White cuffs, lapels, collar, and turnbacks. Black tricorn with white trim. White waistcoat and breeches. Black gaiters with brass buttons. Best Regimental Action So Far: These guys? Not a chance! They are serious contenders for the title, "Worst Soldiers in Europe". Worst Regimental Action So Far: At the Battle of Halfwitz, "The Terrible" Heinz von Stein and the Freicorps he supposedly commands, "lost" the General's baggage. The fact that the General later found some personal items among the troops might explain their selection for being the only unit in the rearguard in the subsequent Defeat at Thickwitz, and the lack of support they received in the disasterous Retreat from Lackwitz. (Don't even ask about what happened to them at the Fiasco at The Bridge of Dimwitz! However, it is recorded that the General did recover most of his property, when the Freicorps straggled back across the bridge, once a couple of cannons were brought to bear and the command, "Drop the Swag!"was given.)

The Ulster Jagers Regiment - Green coat. Black cuffs, lapels, collar, and turnbacks. Black Tricorne with black trim. Black waistcoat. Green breeches. Black gaiters with silver buttons. Best Regimental Action So Far: Under the command of Col. "Jumpin'" Jack Flash, they rolled stones down a mountain pass, triggering an avalanche that destroyed an enemy column below. According to Sgt. K. Richards, "I know it was only rock and roll, but I liked it." Since most of the Jagers hail from Northern Ireland, they are also known as the "Mick Jagers". Due to his fierce reputation, no one will duel with Col. Flash - so he don't get no satisfaction.

One of my favorite characters in Raubenstadt is "The Terrible" Heinz von Stein, the worst soldier in the Markgraaf's service. His reputation started in a downward spiral many years ago, when I came across a book of humorous verse that belonged to my grandfather. It is a cautionary tale of what can happen when a proper reconaissance is not conducted. I give you:

The Legend of Heinz Von Stein

Out rode from his wild, dark castle,
The terrible Heinz von Stein;
He came to the door of a tavern
And gazed on its swinging sign.

He sat himself down at a table,
And growled for a bottle of wine;
Up came with a flask and a corkscrew
A maiden of beauty divine.

Then, seized with a deep love longing,
He uttered, "O damosel mine,
Suppose you just give a few kisses
To the valorous Ritter Von Stein!"

But she answered, "The kissing business
Is entirely out of my line;
And I certainly will not begin it
On a countenance as ugly as thine.

Oh, then the bold knight was angry,
And cursed both coarse and fine.
He asked, "How much is the swindle
For your sour and nasty wine?"

"The bag at your hip, for the service and tip,
Which will be hefty for wasting my time,
Or my seven brothers true and a mastiff or two
I'll set on the Ritter von Stein!"

Then fiercely he rode back to the castle
And sat himself down to dine;
And this is the dreadful legend
Of the terrible Heinz Von Stein.


A J Matthews said...

Love the names! As one Punmeister to another - salut! ;)

Bluebear Jeff said...

I love the names . . . very nice.

-- Jeff

tradgardmastare said...

Super names and ideas 1758 will be an exciting year in the Markgravate!

MurdocK said...

Well the names are a good start.


We need eye candy!

If you have not the figs on hand, then may I suggest a trip to Tipplebruder?

abdul666 said...

Man, you have been quite busy these few last days!

Great names, great histories, very good descriptions: thanks for sharing!

As for making good use of David's templates without the required skills & / or software, There is always the –old-fashioned but flexible- method inaugurated by
the «Bishop of Uber Gruntshuffen». He printed one (enlarged) template, hand-colored or painted it and had the image numerized back to post it on his blog.

Of course, before coloring it, you can modify the printed template to reflect exactly the cut of your imaginary uniform. In that case, ‘cut’ would be done with scissors and ‘paste’ with glue. Outdated but reliable!

In a backward country such as France, the hardest point is to have a color scan done...


abdul666 said...

A dense (in the meaning of 'richely stuffed') delice!

Der Alte Fritz said...

"Wax on, Wax off" -- Mr Miyagi in The Karate Kid

it reminds me of your Waxenbuff Regiment. I love the names.