Von Mack Rides Again

Erwin Von Mack, Chief (and Only) Intelligence Agent for the Markgraaf of Raubenstadt, found himself late at night on the road to nearby Frankfort Am Main, with a message from the Margrafin to her second son, the Ritter Andrew Von Meltzer, who was currently accompanying the Grand Tour of the Reich Duke Wilhelm Von Beerstein. She had received vague warnings from her sources in Stagonia, that there was a foul plot underway in Frankzonia involving the Grand Tour and the Frankfurter Herzog, but no further specific details as to who, how, and when were forthcoming.

Von Mack thought that if the Stagonians had grown so bold as to antagonize the Frankfurters, they were due for a rude awakening. Could this new agressive stance be the influence of the Duchess of Sachen-Vindow? If so, she did not know the Frankfurters as well as she thought. Bitterly gained personal experience had taught Von Mack that underneath the bland and somewhat bumbling facade Stanken showed the world, there lurked a mind that could have taught Machavelli a thing or two about ruling. He mentally winced at the memories, and wondered what it would be like to be on the same side for a change.

Sachen-Vindow. Sachen-Vindow. His failure at that damnable Inn, "The Crooked Kobold", had haunted Von Mack for months now, and if events had just gone a little different, he probably wouldn't have found himself on the road to Frankfort Am Main at such an ungodly hour, with a full moon lighting his way along the well known track. The grim setting did nothing to improve his mood. Von Mack was determined that this time there would be no failures.

Justice and Death, personally delivered in the form of Erwin Von Mack, were coming closer to Frankfort with every plodding hoofbeat of his horse....

(Hi Guys,

Sorry about not posting in a while, but things have been awfully busy around here for the last three weeks. However, progress has been made. The wiring, drywalling, and painting of the living room and hallway has been done, and the air conditioning system has been brought up to date and turned on. You would not believe how humid it has been around here. I hope that there will now be a little more time for hobby stuff.

Hope you had a Happby Birthday Jeff! Long may the Blue Bear lead this merry band!

A. J. ! Here's to you and your Bride! May you both live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live!

Hey Stokes! All kidding aside, congratulations on the impending arrival!

Given the outcome of current events in our Imagi-Nations, I just couldn't resist sticking a big ol' Raubenstadter thumb in the eye of this particular Stagonian plot!)

Reading, Raiding, and 'Rithmatic

The Markgraaf has been pretty busy remodelling the basement (a.k.a. "The Mancave") and taking care of my brother. John's operations to repair his right wrist and left elbow went well. Some of the pins come out next week, and he's well on the road to full recovery.

So.....I was reading my copy of Brig. Grant's excellent booklet, "Raid On St. Michel", and I had one of those Eureka moments that happen so rarely. "Raid" is an excellent read, but it's kind of like eating a potato chip - it's tastes good, but one is not enough. Then I got to thinking (generally others can tell I am thinking by the burning smell that would remind one of cobwebs and old sawdust going up in smoke.) "Hey! Wait a minute! I've got 'Scenario's For Wargames', 'Programmed Scenarios', and 'Scenario's For All Ages' around here! Now that I've got a framework for minicampaigns, I'm only limited by my own imagination! Let the evil laughter and creepy organ music begin!"

Anyway, so now I'm pouring through the books; linking scenarios, and calculating how many troops would be needed for both sides. The results of these mental gymnastics have been put into a notebook. And on that glorious day when the "Mancave" opens for business, I'll have a narrative that will be worthy of those wargamers that have inspired me. Looking forward to the good times.

The Walking Wounded

Well....the month of April has sure had it's share of surprises. Back on the 15th (Tax Day! Boo! Hiss!) my brother was involved in a bicycle/Golden Retreiver accident while going to the local YMCA to lifeguard at the pool. The dog is OK, but John suffered a broken left elbow and right wrist. Ouch! So he's come to stay with us until he recovers. Oddly enough, the doctors say that the elbow will recover before the wrist does.

Now my brother has always been an active, self-reliant fellow; used to being on his own, and so this is going to be a big change for the next six months or so. I guess it's a good thing we're related, because when you can't use either arm for very much, there are just some things that only a close relative can do for you. It reminds me of when I broke my left wrist while serving in South Korea. Normally no big deal, but I'll be darned if the Army didn't introduce the Battle Dress Uniforms (BDU) with the button fly the next week! You sure find out who your friends are in a hurry, when you're in a situation like that!

So if I don't post as often as I'd like over the next few months, bear with me.

A Light Gleams In A Window In The Palace Late At Night

The Markgraaf was restless and could not sleep this night. So he went to his Study to catch up on at least some of the never-ending flow of paperwork.

He sat down at the desk and started to read the first scrap of paper. Some sort of sickness or plague in St. Maurice. Skeletal like peasants spreading the disease, and they were heading for Frankfort-am-Main! Not close, but not far either! The Frankfurters were mobilizing to repel this incursion. The Markgraaf chuckled. Well that should give that smarmy Bastille something to foam about! From what little he knew of Phillip-Louis ( or was it Louis-Phillip?) he was the kind of ruler that would work his people into the ground, feed them next to nothing, and clothe them in cast-off rags! Small wonder that the observers thought these poor souls looked like something the grave had spit back up! He made a note to ask General Schwillensaufenstein about mustering a couple of battalions of Grenzers to strengthen the border patrols in that direction.

He picked up the next report. What in the name of all that was Holy is going on in Sachen-Vindow? The Scandel of the Duchess was the talk of the court, and rumors multiplied like mad march hares! Some of the more outrageous said she was on her way to Stagonia. Others implied she had gone to Gallia. Yet others insisted that they had it, "on the best authority", that she had accepted an Ambassadorship to some postage stamp place down South called, "The Pressipality"! God protect us from wayward women, he thought to himself.

Oh dear! Now Duke Peter is on his deathbed, and wills the Duchy to Treadergar? Good heavens. He wrote another note. This time to Chancellor Weisenheimer. "How will this effect our commercial contracts? Does anybody really know where the Duchess has gotten off to? Is there a chance that she might be able to rally enough support, both internally and externally, to contest the wishes of her husband? In case a civil war breaks out, which side should we support, or should we remain neutral?"

The Reich-Duke's Grand Tour is going well. The "Running Of The Barrels" had been a smash! (Literally and figuratively!) The Markgraaf was pleased that the Beersteiners had enjoyed their stay in Raubenstadt. It certainly made up for "The Fishing Incident" with General Technicalstuff! The Reich-Duke, the Markgraaf, and the Chief Engineer had flogged the water of the Rubberneckar River all day in a vain attempt to get that enormous pike to rise to the bait - to no avail.

General Technicalstuff said to his fellow anglers, "Gentlemen! I refuse to accept defeat from the fins of our gilled foe. Your Grace, if you will apply yourself to the starboard oar? My Lord, if you will be so kind as to man the port oar. I will take the tiller." With that, the small boat drifted with the current to where the fish lurked. As they drifted over the site, the General lit a fuse to a small, sealed, weighted cask, and casually tossed it over the side. He then shouted, "PULL ME HEARTIES! PUT YOUR BACKS INTO IT! ROW LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT, BECAUSE IT DOES! PULLLLL!" Needless to say the startled oarsmen dug in with a will at his sudden encouragement.

The resulting geyser was spectacular. The little boat violently rocked back and forth upon the waves . The Reich-Duke looked at the General like he had lost his mind. The Markgraaf wiped the spray from his face, and sputtered, "Carl! Are you trying to kill us?!", but the General's attention was fixed upon their wake. "Ah-ha! There she blows! Quick! Turn us around My Lord. That's the way! The blast has stunned the big bastard and he's floated to the surface! Now pull together! Your Grace, if you would be so kind as to get the net ready? Hummmm....I think a smaller charge of gunpowder for next time...." The Markgraaf was sure that the Reich-Duke would have an entertaining story about fishing on the Rubberneckarfor the rest of the Grand Tour! And the Markgraaf had sworn never to go fishing with an Engineer for the rest of his life.

The next missive caused a sigh to escape. "King" Ludwig of Stagonia is marching to add a Stollen Sawmill to his kingdom?! Well.....if there were any doubts about his sanity before, they were removed now. The Stollen General Drosselmaijer is confident of victory....Yah, yah...I've heard that one before! We'll see. They have pretty uniforms, but do they have spine (or claws) for battle with the Vile Stagonians?

Stagonia. Stagonia. All roads lead back to Stagonia. Perhaps once the territories from Spires have been absorbed into Raubenstaat, new troops could be recruited. Perhaps an alliance or two with other interested parties..., but not yet. Not with Frankfort in an uproar!

It was at this moment that young Bueller knocked on the door, and said, "Excuse me My Lord, but Herr Von Mack is here and wants an audience with you."

"Well...the night has been full of surprises!", the Markgraaf thought to himself. "This should be interesting." "Yes! Ferris! Send him in. I've been most anxious about him!"

A Tricorn HAT Is Thrown Into The Ring

Excellent news from the boys from HAT Industrie - they're going to start a Seven Years Wars Range of figures soon! No word yet as to what will be released first, but if they follow what they did for their Napoleonic line, we shall soon have a wide assortment to choose from.

"Big deal.", says the wargamer of mature years with tons of lead and pewter. "Well....Yes!" says I. At $8.00 on average per box of 48 infantry or 12 cavalry, we can afford to furnish any nephews (and nieces) , cousins, brothers, friends, or total strangers who show an interest with some forces to oppose our own, in addition to swelling the ranks of our armies. Hopefully they will take the bait and add to them as the years roll on. If they REALLY take the bait, then they can discover the joys of RSM's, Front Rank, Old Glory, etc.

I must admit that some of HAT's first offerings were pretty ropy, but they've come a long way since then. Their 1805 Russian Infantry, 1806 Saxon Infantry, and their 1806 Prussian Hussars are excellent figures. Particularly when they have a decent paint job and fielded in large (ish) formations. All in all it is an outstanding time to be a wargamer!

Campfire Of The Vanities

It had been a long ride back from "The Crooked Kobold" and with every step the horses took, the money in the men's sabertaches jingled with an accusatory tone in Von Mack's imagination, "Gone, gone, gone. She's gone, gone, gone." He was relieved to call a halt that evening and set up camp for the night.

He left the details of the camp set up to Lieutenant Ziegler and the Sergeants, and instructed them that he wanted to be left alone as much as possible tonight. Soon the camp was filled with the muffled sounds and smells of horses being picketed and groomed, firewood being gathered, sentries being set, rations being cooked, and the hum of quiet conversations among the men. Von Mack knew that they were content; and why not? No casualties to man or beast. Ten Thalers for every man jack of them. That was a lot of money to these troopers, and yet ....Von Mack had hoped for so much more.

He took the time to draw the old charges, clean, oil, and reload his weapons before the sun set. It was an old habit that had served him well. For in Von Mack's business, anyone who did not take care of his tools did not live long. He found the routine strangely comforting, as his hands seemed to require no conscious direction. He then set tooth to the first hot food that had passed his throat in days. After he had finished eating, he pulled his pipe and tobacco pouch out and lit his pipe with a burning twig from the fire. Due to the covert nature of this mission, Von Mack had forbidden any fires. It was like welcoming back an old friend.

As he puffed away, he settled back against his saddle. He stared into the bed of coals, as the fire burned down. He had always enjoyed watching the blue flames dance and cavort among the ashes as night settled in. "No plan survives contact with the enemy.", had been one of the platitudes nagging at him all day. For a bit of fluff that was supposed to be tottering around all on her own, Her Grace sure had a lot of people around her that were familiar with firearms and cutlery....and not afraid to use them. Von Mack, always a suspicious cuss by nature, suspected more than just a little duplicity from his informant. He looked forward to having a frank exchange with his source as to the defination of the word, "unescorted".

With the benefit of hindsight, his decision not to charge into the village had been the correct one. Let the other unexpected contenders bleed each other, and hope that fortune will reward the patient hunter. That Sachen-Window Captain was a worthy opponent, and to come so close to the prize and watch her slip over the border was a bitter pill to swallow. Worse was the fact that the Stagonian Border Guards had gotten a good look at his face. That would make further operations along the Stagonian border more of a challenge, because Von Mack had always made it a rule that his face was the last thing his opponents saw in this world, if then. Garrottes and daggers to the kidney were much easier from behind. Much to his surprise his pipe had gone out, and he reloaded it with his favorite Virginia Leaf.

Von Mack had been very surprised to discover Milady De Winter among the competion for the Duchess. Now there was an operation that he could only dream about. A good information network, generally reliable Horse and Foot at her disposal, and the talents of "Her Nibs" herself. He wondered if the Lady would be having a few words with her own sources. This was not the first time Von Mack had crossed swords with her, but he was sure that this was the first time she was aware of his active participation. There were greater forces pulling the strings around here, and Von Mack resented being used for someone else's agenda.

After his third pipe, Von Mack slowly drew out from his cloak, a packet of carefully phrased letters. Each of them had different addresses and were variations of the same theme, "Her Grace is in my power. How much are you willing to pay for her return/continued captivity/disappearance?" One by one he committed them to the flames and watched them curl and burn among the dancing blue flames. By the flickering light, he scrawled a new letter.

"Your Grace,

I regret to inform you that despite my best efforts, she has crossed over the Stagonian border with an unexpected heavy escort, and is no doubt well on her way to King Ludwig. If you desire another attempt, deposit 250 Thalers with Messrs. Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe......"

While I'm Waiting, and Waiting, and Waiting....

Tomorrow my oldest son William turns 28! A part of me still sees him with the eyes of a father. "What do you mean you've graduated from college?! You're what? Six years old, at the most!", but he is well and truly launched, and on his way, and I'm a happy man. He's coming home from Boston tomorrow and I'll be picking him up at the airport in Indy. Then we'll spend the rest of the weekend celebrating.

Well....that's one of the reasons why the SYW gathering at South Bend (so close and yet so far) will have to be put off for another year. Dang it! The other reason is that pesky job that pays the bills and all those other annoying necessities like food, etc. (A pox upon you Reality!)

So while I'm sitting on pins and needles waiting to find out how "The Affair Of The Runaway Duchess" plays out, I thought I'd pass at least some of the seeming eternity by blogging about what I've been doing in this neck of the woods - wargaming wise.

Books and Such: I've been devouring my copy of "The Wargame Companion". Everytime I go through it, something else jumps out at me. This is an excellent read and it deserves a place by his Dad's book "The Wargame". Brigadier Grant is a prolific writer, and I hope to be a proud owner of his "Raid On St. Michel" before the month is out; then the Battlegames compendium of Table Top Teasers goes right to the top of the list. If I ever win a lottery, the guys at On Military Matters would have a considerable part of the winnings, because there is all the stuff from Featherstone, Asquith, Weisencraft, and others that call to me like a Rhinemaiden.

I've also been enjoying the Ancient Greek rules "Hoplomachia", from The Perfect Captain. When combined with the excellent Zvezda figures for that time period, it's a great way to spend a rainy afternoon. The Perfect Captain also has a great campaign system called "Battlefinder" that is generic enough to be used in a number of ways. Their English Civil War campaign, "Tinker Fox", is a hoot and half to run. Check them out at www.theperfectcaptain.com You won't regret it.

Miniature Painting: Some time ago I sent off for a packet of 6 SYW Prussian Generals from the boys at DPC, and I've painted up four of them so far this week. Thats what? Eight Olley Points? You get four officers with their right hand on their hip - solidly plodding along, and two officers leaning back in the saddle, looking off to their right, waving their hat! (Either to encourage the troops or saying adieu.) There were three horses in a standing pose, and three more standing with one foreleg pawing the ground. I tried out a number uniform coat colors on them and I am pleased with the results. The details were easy to pick out, and with eyes like mine anymore that's a good trick!

Back in February, the boys from Squadron Mail Order out of Texas had a sale on the Swedish Dragoons from Zvezda's Great Northern War series, and I latched onto three boxes of them! ( Ha, ha, ha! The World Is My Oyster!) These are some truly great figures, and if you're looking to recruit some tricorn cavalry; look no further, these are your lads. Plastic Soldier Review gives a detailed description of these troopers. They mix in well with my Scruby 25's and Airfix, but they look a little slender when placed right next to the RSM's. I'm hoping that when seen from a three to four foot distance, they should do the trick when on the table and in formation. So the Hayburningnag Dragoons have taken their place in the painting line. Can the Roadapplegangers be far behind?! Their Swedish Artillery set from the same range is due out sometime soon. (Yeah Baby! If it's anything close to their Napoleonics, it will be worth every thaler.) By the by, Zvezda has announced that a Prussian SYW Grenadier set will be released sometime this year. If they run true to form, there will be other SYW sets in the pipeline as well. Yah Hoo!

The Renovation Of The Mancave (Basement): Well this project is taking me far too long. I never in my wildest dreams thought that it would take this long. We've had some electric wiring issues in the living room, so all the interior side walls have been taken off so the rewiring can be done. Since all the interior window frames were exposed, SWMBO decided that it would be a good time for replacement windows. Heartfelt Sigh! Goodbye Tax Refund! We hardly knew ye.

Once the finances recover, I hope to rent a ten yard dumpster, and then I can get serious about gutting the rest of the basement and having the War Game Room of my dreams. A place where Victory will always be mine. Where bad Random Events always happen to my opponent and never to me. Where my dice always roll the required number, and my brilliant strategies and tactics never fail. "What is best in life?" "To crush your enemies and drive them before you like dust upon the wind, and to hear the lamentation of their women!" Woof! Well....It's getting late and I guess I'll call it a night. Perchance I'll dream of Von Mack's sucess at the Crooked Kobold and the Duchess' journey to Durance Vile! Cue the Creepy Organ Music as the picture fades to black.